A Recipe for Personal Happiness built Around Resilience....
A lot of research and studies show a direct correlation between resilience and happiness. So, how do we build our personal resilience and potentially boost our happiness?
I've been testing and developing methods on myself over the past few years, inspired by listening to and learning from people much smarter and more qualified than myself and applying different techniques in my own life to see what does and doesnt work for me.
I am not a professional in this area, and this is not proffesional advice but I am sharing because the structure outlined below is one that has truly improved my happiness in recent times, and I hope it can add some value to you guys also.
Part 1: Embracing Reality
The first step is understanding that life can be difficult and unpredictable. Things won't always go our way, and challenges will continue to come. As much as it would be nice, we don't live in a perfect world where everything unfolds flawlessly. Accepting this reality seems to make a huge difference in personal resilience, and it's something many people unfortunately have to learn first, through hard experience. My hope is that it is a lesson young people can learn and take on before they are shapped through hard experience.
Part 2: The Three R's of Dealing with Challenges
When difficulties, problems, or issues arise, follow these three steps:
1. Instantly Reassess: Is it really a problem or issue? the majority of the time, our worries are often self exaggerated or imagined, and I can tell you I have often been guilty of this myself. If that's the case, the key is to let them go! Mastering this skill will significantly boost resilience and instant happiness as you don't hold on to concerns that you have no control over or should'nt be worried about.
2. React: If it's a real problem, the very best thing for your happiness is to deal with it quickly. Address it head-on and sort it out, even if it involves a difficult conversation. Don't let issues or problems linger that dont need to, as this is where the majority of our anxiety and stress often derives from, especially mine!
3. Accept and commit: If it's a problem we can't fix, the only answer around maintaining our happiness is to commit to moving forward from it. Although this can truly challenging, it can be life-changing. Some things in life are just beyond our control and repair. If we can accept and commit to moving forward when major problems or issues happen, even if it is on a deviated path, it allows us to move forward and find happiness and prevents us from getting stuck, prolonging pain and hindering ongoing happiness.
Beyond Acceptance: Growth through Challenges
Some amazing individuals I have come across can even take this a step further. They can use the emotions brought on by unchangeable, often terrible situations to fuel growth and emerge stronger and better. This is someting I truly admire in individuals.
I appreciate this happiness thought model is easier said than done and simplistic in nature but the truth is building resilience and happiness by committing to a framework like this can really make a significant difference to our personal growth, resilience and ongoing happiness, so if you are not content with how things are going, it may be worth having a go?
Would love you to share your thoughts and what has and hasn't worked for you?